17: Conversations with Lucy

I have referred in an earlier post to my friendship with Lucy. I will go further into how we became reacquainted in a later post but want to share a few thought about our friendship here.

Lucy and I were born within a year of each other to young parents. Both our families are Catholic with strong ties to Ireland. We have some strong women for our aunts. We have younger brothers with families. We both have been close to our Grandmothers.

Lucy often says to me that I get things that others do not. We have both struggled to feel taken seriously by older members of our families (usually the generation above). Often it is female relatives (usually aunts!) who can be an issue. We often feel as though our achievements and ability to live our lives independently count for little. We know that our families do not mean to do this but are often unaware that they are patronizing us and do not realize how much we have dealt with in our lives and what we are capable of. This is not to say that we do not love our families.

We have both struggled to be taken seriously in the work place, despite how we apply ourselves and our best efforts to achieve results.

Lucy travelled around the USA and Canada by herself for three months about a decade ago. She has run her own household since she returned. She also runs a local TS support group, which believe me requires considerable organizational skills! She took a large role in looking after a family member who was ill over a three year period (part of which involved taking them to many hospital appointments).

I have a masters in librarianship, a mortgage and a pension yet am treated as though I am little more than a teenager.
Lucy has a very unselfish and accepting nature and always manages to make us feel good when we are with her. She enriches our lives with her generous spirit.

There is unfortunately ‘Little women, little minds’ syndrome which many women with TS have to deal with. Women with TS also are often more accommodating and less complaining than most people. We have so much to offer and I am so glad that I have Lucy and other women with TS as good friends. It is often what you do not have to say or explain that is important.