45. My 2011

As you may have noticed I did not put much on this blog last year- there is a reason!
While 2011 was not exactly the worst year of my life it would have to be something of a contender! There has been a highly challenging situation which I have had to deal with.

I had a number of minor problems at home (bed bugs, plumbing). I have had somewhat more testing health issues (Plantar Fasciitis and IBS).

I have also had challenges in some of my closest friendships and family relationships. This is not to say that I do not love those friends. It is just that we are all going our own directions in life and sometimes that has been that I have had to walk certain paths on my own. Sometimes there are problems I feel that I don’t want to share for a variety of reasons. I realise that in the last year I have been withdrawn and on occasions a bit sullen. But I have needed distance in order to re assess how I view myself and to see more clearly how others perceive me.

I cannot discuss the main difficult situation that has been an issue in the past year. All I can say is that if it had not been for the support of various people things would be a lot worse.

Two positive things happened in my life last year. I got to spend quite a lot of time with the older of my two sisters and her baby son. It has been one of the joys of my life over the last few years is deepening my relationship with this sister. The other was my other sister getting married.

I am learning each day to accept myself more and to actually take pride in myself. I am learning that actually I have a lot to offer the world. I am learning to become the person I truly want to be and trust in the friendship and respect of others

44.The needs of parents and the needs of women with TS...

As I began to indicate in post 40 below, the needs of parents of girls with TS and the needs of women with TS are often quite different. This is something which causes a considerable amount of tension, and one of the main reasons why I am not involved with and have no desire to be involved with either of the two support groups connected to TS in the UK.
Parents often joint a support group after their daughter is diagnosed with TS (this includes prenatal diagnoses). They are usually looking for practical information about TS, usually about medical treatment and educational support. Some are also concerned that their daughters get to meet other girls with TS. While some parents remain involved with the supports groups over a long period, in many cases the involvement is temporary, Once the parents have the information and support they require, there is no further reason to be involved.
Most women with TS get involved support groups because they are looking for emotional support. They want to form friendships with other women. They also need practical support with issues such as employment.
However there are some even more serious issues in the way that parents of girls with TS and Women with TS approach the condition. Indeed there can be major differences.
As I have discussed below, finding out that their daughter is infertile can be incredibly difficult for some parents. In spite of their best intentions they can project feelings such as distress, disappointment and guilt. These feelings can be very quickly picked up by a girl/woman with TS and compound her own feelings.
In addition parents can be unnecessarily protective of their daughters. I have seen several cases of this up close! While this is well intentioned this can have a serious effect on the self esteem and independence of the daughters.

There is finally the issue that parents tend to see that TS is only a condition that affects their daughters until late adolescence. They can have difficulties understanding the continuing medical, not to say practical issues their daughters will face.
This is not to denigrate parents of girls and women with TS- I have been fortunate to meet several wonderful parents. But it is important that this issue is acknowledged.

It would be interesting to see what a national support group which was headed by a woman with TS would be like. All I can say is that I am grateful every day that I am involved with a group of wonderful women, who just happen to have TS

43: Bettye Lavette - "Isn't It A Pity" 11/12 Ferguson (TheAudioPerv.com)

Here is somthing that combines three things I love- soul queens, the music of George Harrison and Ireland...

42: What I have been reading

During 2011 I really enjoyed reading Armistead Maupin's 'Tales of the city' novels (read all of them thanks to a kind colleague!) and all  six volumes of Maya Angelou's autobiography- what an amazing woman and such an astonishing story.

I have just begun reading 'The girl' trilogy'- it promises to be great.

I loved the 'Dykes to look out for' anthology by Alison Bechel along with the deeply moving 'Funhome'

41: What I am listening to!

Apologies for not posting for a while- had an interesting 2011 (that is one way of putting it!)

I have got further in feminism in the last year - helping out with events and stuff and really enjoying my book group!

As a little post here is some stuff I am listening to at the meoment

George Harrison- Cloud Nine/ All things must pass- oh the memories, the memories!

Beatles- The Beatles (White Album)- ditto!

Cardinal- Hymns - every bit as good as the original (which is one of my fave albums!)

Beach Boys- Smile - every bit as astonishing as I hoped it would be

Doris Troy-  Anthology - We miss you Doris