As I indicated in my post about Gabriel, I celibate. This is something I have chosen. It can be quite hard for some people to comprehend. But this is a way of life that has brought me much peace and happiness.
When I discuss celibacy in this post, I do not just mean I do not just mean I chose not to have sex, but that I do not seek a romantic relationship or a ‘life partner’.
I have written in one of my early posts about the effects of the way the consultant who treated me as a teenager had on me (basically he would look at my breasts and genitals at every hospital appointment, usually in front of a group of medical students and say something along the lines of ‘coming along nicely!). It made me very protective of my breasts and genitals. I was not prepared to have anyone judge these parts of my body or to be judged as ‘less female’. I was not willing to expose these intimate parts of myself to scrutiny in the way I had to as a teenager. I could name what I went through as a form of abuse. I could say my celibacy is a direct reaction of this. It may be a strong one but there you go.
I felt broken as a sexual being. Celibacy helped me put myself back together again.
I am also a product of a Roman Catholic education. As a teenager, I found the idea of being a nun very attractive. I wanted to get away from the pressures of the world and live a simple, celibate, life amongst women. I am also afraid that the negative attitude towards sex outside of a heterosexual marriage also affected me. Sorry to have to admit this but it is the truth!
When I was at sixth-form college in my late teens, I did have a crush on a young man in my year. I do not know why I did not ask him out. I did not have the confidence to do so. I have had a few regrets about this but nothing serious. There was another young man who wanted to be in a relationship with me, but I declined. I hope I was gently with him but I was not attracted to him.
When I was at university over 20 years ago, I read Sally Cline’s ‘Women, passion and celibacy’ and it made sense to me. I felt that women were under too much pressure to be sexual, particularly sexually available to men. It reaffirmed my decision to be celibate.
It is true to say I never met a man that I was attracted enough to even be friends with, let alone have a romantic and especially sexual relationship with. I greatly valued the friendship of my female friends and enjoyed spending time with them. However there was never any romantic attraction. This was a period of considerable confusion and celibacy helped me get through it. I feel I was at this time not mature enough to handle a relationship.
Between the ages of 25-35 I had a couple of crushes on very inaccessible men. I did not see this coming but perhaps I had to affirm some kind of heterosexual identity, even if I did not act on it. I believe that I developed crushes on men that there was never any hope of having a relationship with as a way of not having to deal with an actual relationship a man. I felt even less attractive and worthy of male attention. This was at a time when I was trying to find my way in the world.
Therefore it was a big surprise that when I was 34, Gabriel happened, (or rather did not happen)…. . I was settled in a job I enjoyed and happily living by myself. As I wrote in my post about him I feel very let down that I told him about my Turner Syndrome. I also felt I made far more of an effort to fit into his life than he ever did to mine. I did not give up on the idea of being in a relationship as I went on a couple of dates, possibly to try and get over Gabriel. Again I declined to get into a relationship with one person I went on one date with. I was not over Gabriel. A few months after this I lost interest in dating after a second unsuccessful date. It just affirmed that I was better off out of the dating game.
About three years after my relationship with Gabriel, I began getting interested in radical feminism. I found the theory of ‘compulsory heterosexuality’ highly useful. It certainly accorded with a lot of my outlook on the world and my experiences. It helped to be around other women who did not see being in a heterosexual relationship as almost mandatory.
I have to say that what I see of relationships today is not encouraging. People reject each other easily and seem to view dating as a game. It is not a game I want to play.
Up to the age of 30, I lived with my parents (apart from the three years at University. I often had people around, and while this could be positive, I often found I did not have enough space mentally. When I moved out I lived with two different flat-mates, both women. I found the experience challenging. In the second case it was not because of the other woman but because of changes I was going through as a person.
About ten years ago, I moved into a flat by myself. I moved into my current flat, which I purchased, about seven years ago. I have never looked back. I am also financially independent (more or less!)
To be honest, I am aware of the person I am. I know I can be insecure and clingy. I also seek approval too often. I also know that I enjoy having the freedom to pursue my own interests and my own beliefs. It has taken me several years to feel as comfortable and accepting of who I am. I do not need a partner for validation.
For me celibacy is a positive decision. It is no a decision to close a door in life, but to open many.
Sunday, 11 May 2014
73. African American Women in The Beatles Story
The Beatles story has been explored from many angles but one that has barely been explored is that The Beatles worked with several African American women, both as a group and in George’s case as a solo artist. I hope in this post to show that African American women were part of several important moments in The Beatles careers. Not only that, but music made by African American women influenced The Beatles.
Before I discuss the artists with whom The Beatles worked it is also important to note that The Beatles covered several tracks in their early recording career that were originally performed by African American Women artists.
These include – on the ‘Please, Please Me’ album
'Chains' – originally performed by The Cookies (of course this was co-authored by Carole King!)
Boys-originally performed by The Shirelles
Baby, it’s you – originally performed by The Shirelles
On ‘With the Beatles’
'Devil in his/her heart'- originally performed by The Donays with lead vocal by Yvonne Vernee
'Please Mr. Postman'- originally performed by the Marvelettes
Of course many other Male UK acts (Rolling Stones, Manfred Mann, The Hollies, Moody Blues- I could go on, and on!) would cover and have bigger hits with tracks originally recorded and in some cases written by African American women. However, I feel The Beatles were a lot more respectful in that they always spoke warmly about the acts that influenced them. They also never issued the above tracks as singles, thus competing (at least more directly) with the originals for sales.
Ronettes
The Ronettes were Ronnie Bennett, later Spector, her sister Estelle Bennett, and their cousin Nedra Talley. According to Ronnie Bennett the two bands got to know each other over a night of dancing when The Ronettes toured the UK in early 1964 George is said to have dated Estelle Bennett in early 1964 before he met Pattie Boyd. Without speculating, the well-known photo of George, the Ronettes and Phil Spector would indicate this.
Here is the photo from a rather good George Blog… http://georgeislove.wordpress.com/2009/12/15/estelle-bennett-of-the-ronettes-and-george/
The two groups would remain on friendly terms with The Ronettes touring with The Beatles on their final tour of the USA in August 1966, and I have come across at least one photo of the groups socializing. The Ronettes would play at the Beatles final official concert at Candlestick Park on August 29 1966. However, Phil Spector refused to allow Ronnie Bennett, to whom he was now married, to go on this tour and her place was taken by another cousin Elaine. Sadly Estelle Bennett died of cancer in 2009 after by all accounts a very hard life. http://www.theguardian.com/music/2009/feb/16/estelle-bennett-obituary
However the relationship between Ronnie and The Beatles was not over yet…
Mary Wells
Mary Wells has been called ‘The first superstar of Motown’. She scored several important early hits for the label from 1962 onwards, most notably ‘My Guy’ in 1964. She is noted for recording several Smokey Robinson compositions (‘Two lovers’, ‘You beat me to the punch’, ‘When I’m gone’), which often portray male/female relationships in a highly ambiguous if not dark manner. I don’t know if I am alone in this but the songs I mention seem at some level to describe women dealing with domestic violence. When researching this post, I found several webpages saying that The Beatles said that Mary Wells was their favourite singer in 1964 and they even sent songs to her to record. I cannot verify these stories (would love it to be true!) but Mary did record an album of Lennon/McCartney songs called ‘Love songs to the Beatles http://www.cmgww.com/music/wells/bio.html What is known is that Mary did tour the USA with The Beatles in October 1964, being one of three women who opened their concerts (I will return to one of the others!) There are photos of Mary and the Beatles together and it clear they had enormous respect for her. Her biographer Peter Benjaminson wrote in his biography of Mary that the Beatles would make respectful visits to Mary’s dressing room before each concert to socialize with her. (As a George fan I adore the fact he apparently just sat there worshiping Mary silently!) http://www.peterbenjaminson.com/mary_wells__the_tumultuous_life_of_motown_s_first_superstar_104537.htm
Here is a photo of Mary and ‘The Boys’
http://xfinity.comcast.net/slideshow/music-fabfourfotos/25/
Sadly soon after the tour with The Beatles Mary and Motown parted company and Mary’s career never recovered in spite of some fine post Motown track. She died of cancer in 1992.
Brenda Holloway
As promised… the other Lady of Motown who also opened for The Beatles was my joint favourite Motown singer (along with Tammi Terrell) the wonderful Brenda Holloway. She actually opened the legendary Shea Stadium concert on 15 August 1965. Sadly, Brenda’s career was never pushed by Motown as it should have been, and like many of its’ female artists, she suffered from being in the path of the all-conquering Supremes (or rather Diana Ross) juggernaut. While she may never have got the sales or fame she deserved, Brenda is much loved in soul circles, especially in the UK, and happily she is still active and still performing.
Perhaps ironically, Brenda is most famous for being the co-author along with her sister Patrice (who also recorded for Motown), Frank Wilson and Berry Gordy of ‘You made me so very happy’. This was a big hit for Blood, Sweat and Tears in 1969. But Brenda’s original version knocks the socks of it…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qjya5JXsKdg
Brenda Holloway – You made me so very Happy- uploaded by Adi Manifold
Doris Troy
Doris Troy had a long and distinguished career both as an artist in her own right and as a session/backing singer. Doris co-wrote and recorded the original version of ‘Just one look’ which was later covered by The Hollies. Soul fans in the UK always appreciated her recordings such as ‘Whatcha gonna do about’, ‘I’ll do anything’ and my favourite ‘Face up to the truth’. She sang background vocals on tracks such as Dusty Springfield’s ‘Little by little’ (that is her doing the ‘Little by little by little). In 1969 she moved to the UK, partly due to her popularity as a session singer and partly to her popularity on the UK soul scene. At a party she met George Harrison, who was a massive fan. According to Doris, George pick up a guitar and started playing her songs such as ‘Just one look’ to her. As a result of this meeting, George got Doris signed to Apple and actually produced her eponymous album in 1970.
These two posts give a better overview of Doris’ time at Apple and her experiences of working with George for whom she had nothing but praise and positive stings to say (thanks to Andrea at thateventuality for these!)
http://thateventuality.tumblr.com/post/76615278060/co-writing-with-and-producing-doris-troy
http://thateventuality.tumblr.com/post/76732257473/doris-troy-on-her-time-at-apple-and-george
Doris and George co-wrote this number which was the single from the album
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqXIeYTiJic
Doris Troy - Ain’t that cute- uploaded by CompleatBeatles
Doris’ album, while artistically and critically successful, did not sell well. However Doris, like many African American female musicians (and African American musicians in general) had her fair share of stories of exploitation and neglect at the hands of the music industry. The fact she was always so positive about her time at Apple says much. Doris Troy died in February 2004 at the age of 67. She is still much missed by Soul fans, especially in the UK where she performed regularly.
Ronnie Bennett/Spector
It is well known that George Harrison worked with Phil Spector. What is not so well known is that George wrote and co-produced several tracks for Ronnie Bennett in 1971 as a result of this association. Ronnie was signed to Apple and it would appear that the original was to issue an album of material. The songs George wrote included ‘You’ and ‘When every song is sung’. George briefly discussed that these songs were written for Ronnie and that he attempted to record versions of these with her.
Ronnie discussed recording with George in this 2009 interview. Again she is positive about the experience- “Working with George in the studio was a lot of fun. He was an old friend. We were thrilled to see each other again. Then when John came in for "Tandoori Chicken," he sort of took over the session and made it into a big party. Unfortunately, we never got the chance to finish what we had started”
This quote taken from http://www.examiner.com/article/exclusive-ronnie-spector-talks-about-the-beatles-and-the-ronettes
Both George and Ronnie do not discuss why Ronnie’s proposes album was never completed. But anyone familiar with Ronnie Bennett’s story and the abuse she suffered at the hands of Phil Spector may well guess. You may have noticed that I refer to Ronnie as Ronnie Bennett. I do this out of respect to Ronnie and to acknowledge both the abuse she suffered at Phil Spector’s hand (and his attempts to control/destroy her career- something he also apparently did with Darlene Love) and the fact she has not been married to Phil since 1973.
However Ronnie did get to issue on single on Apple ‘Try some, buy some’ (written by George) in 1971. The b-side ‘Tandoori Chicken’ is enormous fun, and apparently co-produced by John Lennon. Two years later, George would issue his own version of this song using the backing track for Ronnie’s single on his ‘Living in the material world’ album
But here is Ronnie Bennett’s original version
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aok-eIhtnms
Ronnie Spector- Try some, buy some – uploaded by BaronVonPenguin
George would also issue a version of ‘You’ as a single in 1975. This used material from the sessions for Ronnie Bennett. It is so frustrating to think what a completed album by Ronnie which George produced would have been like. Thankfully Ronnie is still recording and performing and able to discuss her experiences in the music industry.
While watching the Oscar winning documentary ’20 feet from stardom’ which tells the story of the mainly African American women who performed backing vocals for famous acts, it was delightful that Claudia Lennear said that performing backing vocals at the Concert for Bangladesh was one of the highlights of her career.
I hope that all this helps to show that The Beatles had enormous respect for the African American female musicians they performed with and that is a story that deserves to be examined more.
Before I discuss the artists with whom The Beatles worked it is also important to note that The Beatles covered several tracks in their early recording career that were originally performed by African American Women artists.
These include – on the ‘Please, Please Me’ album
'Chains' – originally performed by The Cookies (of course this was co-authored by Carole King!)
Boys-originally performed by The Shirelles
Baby, it’s you – originally performed by The Shirelles
On ‘With the Beatles’
'Devil in his/her heart'- originally performed by The Donays with lead vocal by Yvonne Vernee
'Please Mr. Postman'- originally performed by the Marvelettes
Of course many other Male UK acts (Rolling Stones, Manfred Mann, The Hollies, Moody Blues- I could go on, and on!) would cover and have bigger hits with tracks originally recorded and in some cases written by African American women. However, I feel The Beatles were a lot more respectful in that they always spoke warmly about the acts that influenced them. They also never issued the above tracks as singles, thus competing (at least more directly) with the originals for sales.
Ronettes
The Ronettes were Ronnie Bennett, later Spector, her sister Estelle Bennett, and their cousin Nedra Talley. According to Ronnie Bennett the two bands got to know each other over a night of dancing when The Ronettes toured the UK in early 1964 George is said to have dated Estelle Bennett in early 1964 before he met Pattie Boyd. Without speculating, the well-known photo of George, the Ronettes and Phil Spector would indicate this.
Here is the photo from a rather good George Blog… http://georgeislove.wordpress.com/2009/12/15/estelle-bennett-of-the-ronettes-and-george/
The two groups would remain on friendly terms with The Ronettes touring with The Beatles on their final tour of the USA in August 1966, and I have come across at least one photo of the groups socializing. The Ronettes would play at the Beatles final official concert at Candlestick Park on August 29 1966. However, Phil Spector refused to allow Ronnie Bennett, to whom he was now married, to go on this tour and her place was taken by another cousin Elaine. Sadly Estelle Bennett died of cancer in 2009 after by all accounts a very hard life. http://www.theguardian.com/music/2009/feb/16/estelle-bennett-obituary
However the relationship between Ronnie and The Beatles was not over yet…
Mary Wells
Mary Wells has been called ‘The first superstar of Motown’. She scored several important early hits for the label from 1962 onwards, most notably ‘My Guy’ in 1964. She is noted for recording several Smokey Robinson compositions (‘Two lovers’, ‘You beat me to the punch’, ‘When I’m gone’), which often portray male/female relationships in a highly ambiguous if not dark manner. I don’t know if I am alone in this but the songs I mention seem at some level to describe women dealing with domestic violence. When researching this post, I found several webpages saying that The Beatles said that Mary Wells was their favourite singer in 1964 and they even sent songs to her to record. I cannot verify these stories (would love it to be true!) but Mary did record an album of Lennon/McCartney songs called ‘Love songs to the Beatles http://www.cmgww.com/music/wells/bio.html What is known is that Mary did tour the USA with The Beatles in October 1964, being one of three women who opened their concerts (I will return to one of the others!) There are photos of Mary and the Beatles together and it clear they had enormous respect for her. Her biographer Peter Benjaminson wrote in his biography of Mary that the Beatles would make respectful visits to Mary’s dressing room before each concert to socialize with her. (As a George fan I adore the fact he apparently just sat there worshiping Mary silently!) http://www.peterbenjaminson.com/mary_wells__the_tumultuous_life_of_motown_s_first_superstar_104537.htm
Here is a photo of Mary and ‘The Boys’
http://xfinity.comcast.net/slideshow/music-fabfourfotos/25/
Sadly soon after the tour with The Beatles Mary and Motown parted company and Mary’s career never recovered in spite of some fine post Motown track. She died of cancer in 1992.
Brenda Holloway
As promised… the other Lady of Motown who also opened for The Beatles was my joint favourite Motown singer (along with Tammi Terrell) the wonderful Brenda Holloway. She actually opened the legendary Shea Stadium concert on 15 August 1965. Sadly, Brenda’s career was never pushed by Motown as it should have been, and like many of its’ female artists, she suffered from being in the path of the all-conquering Supremes (or rather Diana Ross) juggernaut. While she may never have got the sales or fame she deserved, Brenda is much loved in soul circles, especially in the UK, and happily she is still active and still performing.
Perhaps ironically, Brenda is most famous for being the co-author along with her sister Patrice (who also recorded for Motown), Frank Wilson and Berry Gordy of ‘You made me so very happy’. This was a big hit for Blood, Sweat and Tears in 1969. But Brenda’s original version knocks the socks of it…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qjya5JXsKdg
Brenda Holloway – You made me so very Happy- uploaded by Adi Manifold
Doris Troy
Doris Troy had a long and distinguished career both as an artist in her own right and as a session/backing singer. Doris co-wrote and recorded the original version of ‘Just one look’ which was later covered by The Hollies. Soul fans in the UK always appreciated her recordings such as ‘Whatcha gonna do about’, ‘I’ll do anything’ and my favourite ‘Face up to the truth’. She sang background vocals on tracks such as Dusty Springfield’s ‘Little by little’ (that is her doing the ‘Little by little by little). In 1969 she moved to the UK, partly due to her popularity as a session singer and partly to her popularity on the UK soul scene. At a party she met George Harrison, who was a massive fan. According to Doris, George pick up a guitar and started playing her songs such as ‘Just one look’ to her. As a result of this meeting, George got Doris signed to Apple and actually produced her eponymous album in 1970.
These two posts give a better overview of Doris’ time at Apple and her experiences of working with George for whom she had nothing but praise and positive stings to say (thanks to Andrea at thateventuality for these!)
http://thateventuality.tumblr.com/post/76615278060/co-writing-with-and-producing-doris-troy
http://thateventuality.tumblr.com/post/76732257473/doris-troy-on-her-time-at-apple-and-george
Doris and George co-wrote this number which was the single from the album
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqXIeYTiJic
Doris Troy - Ain’t that cute- uploaded by CompleatBeatles
Doris’ album, while artistically and critically successful, did not sell well. However Doris, like many African American female musicians (and African American musicians in general) had her fair share of stories of exploitation and neglect at the hands of the music industry. The fact she was always so positive about her time at Apple says much. Doris Troy died in February 2004 at the age of 67. She is still much missed by Soul fans, especially in the UK where she performed regularly.
Ronnie Bennett/Spector
It is well known that George Harrison worked with Phil Spector. What is not so well known is that George wrote and co-produced several tracks for Ronnie Bennett in 1971 as a result of this association. Ronnie was signed to Apple and it would appear that the original was to issue an album of material. The songs George wrote included ‘You’ and ‘When every song is sung’. George briefly discussed that these songs were written for Ronnie and that he attempted to record versions of these with her.
Ronnie discussed recording with George in this 2009 interview. Again she is positive about the experience- “Working with George in the studio was a lot of fun. He was an old friend. We were thrilled to see each other again. Then when John came in for "Tandoori Chicken," he sort of took over the session and made it into a big party. Unfortunately, we never got the chance to finish what we had started”
This quote taken from http://www.examiner.com/article/exclusive-ronnie-spector-talks-about-the-beatles-and-the-ronettes
Both George and Ronnie do not discuss why Ronnie’s proposes album was never completed. But anyone familiar with Ronnie Bennett’s story and the abuse she suffered at the hands of Phil Spector may well guess. You may have noticed that I refer to Ronnie as Ronnie Bennett. I do this out of respect to Ronnie and to acknowledge both the abuse she suffered at Phil Spector’s hand (and his attempts to control/destroy her career- something he also apparently did with Darlene Love) and the fact she has not been married to Phil since 1973.
However Ronnie did get to issue on single on Apple ‘Try some, buy some’ (written by George) in 1971. The b-side ‘Tandoori Chicken’ is enormous fun, and apparently co-produced by John Lennon. Two years later, George would issue his own version of this song using the backing track for Ronnie’s single on his ‘Living in the material world’ album
But here is Ronnie Bennett’s original version
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aok-eIhtnms
Ronnie Spector- Try some, buy some – uploaded by BaronVonPenguin
George would also issue a version of ‘You’ as a single in 1975. This used material from the sessions for Ronnie Bennett. It is so frustrating to think what a completed album by Ronnie which George produced would have been like. Thankfully Ronnie is still recording and performing and able to discuss her experiences in the music industry.
While watching the Oscar winning documentary ’20 feet from stardom’ which tells the story of the mainly African American women who performed backing vocals for famous acts, it was delightful that Claudia Lennear said that performing backing vocals at the Concert for Bangladesh was one of the highlights of her career.
I hope that all this helps to show that The Beatles had enormous respect for the African American female musicians they performed with and that is a story that deserves to be examined more.
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